W. Austin Gardner
Dealing with Anger in our lives 4

Whenever I find myself dealing with frustration, impatience, anger, getting upset, or whatever synonym, I know that I have not entirely put off things that I am commanded to put off in Colossians 3:8
I end up using harsh, condemning words about my brothers and sisters in Christ. We end up saying things that were not uplifting but hurting others. I have fallen short in this.
The counselor gives four sources of anger,
your heart is wounded,
your right is violated,
fear, or
frustration because your performance is not accepted.
None of these give us the right to be angry, snappy, antagonistic, speak negatively about others, tell things we shouldn’t! We end up hurting our relationship with so many.
She says we need to be sure that we never use our anger to get our needs met or get people to do what we want them to do. That is a good lesson for me.
A significant fault of many is in the area of expectations. We want God to do certain things. We come to expect them. He did great things, and We expected certain treatment from others.
According to James 4:1-3, it is our desires and wishes that cause wars and fighting among us. We want so much that we have a battle within ourselves. We are thinking of what we wish to and only to do what we want.
We often start with the right attitude, even trying to do things for God. Somewhere along the way, we get off target and begin to think of ourselves too much. We end up wanting to do and get things in our abilities rather than trusting God. That sure leads to us to being angry and resentful.
James 4:6 reminds us that when we think of ourselves, we are proud. God resists the proud. God gives us grace when we humble ourselves.
Following what the counselor says, we must admit that we have been frustrated and hurt. We must give this pain to the Lord. We must trust God to help us get right and then realize that we do not always get what we want and accept what God has for us.