W. Austin Gardner
Dealing with Anger in our lives 3
From June Hunt’s counseling material on anger, I got the following:
Appropriate action is expressing your thoughts and feelings with restraint, understanding, and concern for the other person’s welfare.
The wise man told us to spare our words and as a man of understanding to keep an excellent spirit. Proverbs 17:27
Many times I have not spared my words. I didn’t show an excellent spirit. That is sin and wrong.
What I did was what she calls the inappropriate reaction.
An inappropriate reaction is expressing your thoughts and feelings in such a way that stirs up anger in others and produces strife. Proverbs, the book on wisdom, paints this graphic picture …
It is like churning milk to make butter or twisting a person’s nose to make it bleed. Getting upset, angry, bothered, or whatever word we choose to use will cause strife, fighting, and fussing. Proverbs 30:33
So often, we do not use appropriate actions, discreet and compassionate words. We don’t focus on our faults. We are not as flexible as we should be. We end up with unrealistic expectations for people. That causes us to treat them rudely.
What we want to do is put on, as the Bible says, heartfelt mercy, kindness, humility, patience. We deal with each other from that point of view and can be even-tempered. We can put up with each other. We will learn to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. The forgiven forgive is a motto I want to make a practice in my life. Colossians 3:12-13
Psalm 19:12 Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults.
Deliberately or in-deliberately, we hide our faults from even ourselves. It is so easy to see things in someone else’s life. These secret faults become a blind spot for us.
My goal is to let this verse live out itself in me. I have found myself failing in this area multiple times.